I named my work... FINALLY.
I named my work.
Finally.
It's the double edged sword of this being my work: I support this process so well for others. And reversing it for myself is nearly impossible. I've hired support around this previously and those consultants always got me further along the process than I had been before. But there remained something not quite right about how I was articulating things, not quite close enough to the solid thing I felt clearly but still didn't quite capture with words.
When asked about my Ground Truth, I said something like the following:
Here's what I've been using for a few years now:
Finding the words for what we’re trying to say
so we can do what we’re trying to do
Here's what it is now:
I name
so we aren’t alone.
And as I see in my clients, the closer the language is to the True Thing, the greater the cascade of revelations and changes that ensue. It's been a beautiful shift in all my internal understanding of what I'm about and what my work is and who I am in relation to it.
THE STORY
After months of saying "I need to find a different metric for professional impact than financial stability", I had an emotional and wide ranging conversation with Robbie. He was in the altmba by Akimbo (founded by Seth Godin) and did a review on the strengths and liabilities of a project or company of his choosing. I suggested my own. Little did I know how much would come from that suggestion!
Hearing him break down the structures of my business and his relationship to that work was emotional and illuminating.
In the middle of it, I somehow ended up saying that all I wanted to do was 1) work with words and 2) not be alone and make that possible for others.
Because language is about connection and not aloneness.
When I write an essay, I'm taking my experience and putting words to it so it's not just mine.
When I read, I'm doing the same thing.
When I work with a client, I'm putting words to something so they aren't alone with their skills and expertise and uniqueness and self-ness, both so they can share that with others and be seen AND so they can be with themselves.
He paused and said, "Wait. Did we just name your Ground Truth?! It's about not being alone?!"
And there it was: the lights came on.
That I'm actually in the work of putting words to our irreducible experiences, giving them a name, so we aren't alone. That creative identity is what I'm actually exploring and identifying with my clients. And that all of my creativity comes back to naming who we are, naming our experiences of beauty and meaning, so we aren't alone with them. So we can share who we are and be seen and known.
I name so we aren't alone.
(Aside: notice that this revelation happened in a conversation?! Having that other person to hear and receive and reflect is ESSENTIAL to this work)
IT WAS NEVER ABOUT “COMMS” OR “BRANDING”
Though they were always related.
The work was and is about the way naming--language, words, expression--allow us to not be alone with the beauty and meaning in life's ineffable experiences, including the experience of who we are.
My work around the Ground Truth is just one form this takes for me; writing, art, conversation, facilitation are all other expressions of this same thread. But I've tried to fit all of myself into one container of a business. Another way of saying this: I want to be a writer-who-consults rather than a consultant-who-writes.
LETTING GO OF PROVING
The way I’ve structured the work has felt very confining, a sense that’s grown over the past year. I’ve been afraid that I needed to prove myself by both business ROIs and academia verifications. I felt desperate to prove that I’m not a “culty coach” who makes promises she can't keep.
Instead, the point is that I'm hirable because I help articulate creative identity, a clarifying process that's worth it for its own sake.
But here's the beauty: my favorite clients (and the ones who pay me the most easily and speak the highest praise of my skills) are all people who value clarity in its own right. They don't need to be taught that knowing oneself is part of a meaningful life and rich work.
A MARVELOUS AFFIRMATION
Just a few days following the “Naming Revelation", I was tagged on Linkedin with the link to this lovely piece on medium on “The Opposite of Loneliness” by Taylor Harrington. The post included a reflection on how she came to these conclusions. She literally identified naming as a key piece in addressing loneliness in a creative life. And named me as a key influence.
I immediately called her to tell her about the timing. Here was someone I'd seen evolve over time who independently made the connection of my work to loneliness and its antidote--the exact same week as I saw this for myself. Turns out, your biggest supporters and cheerleaders have a pretty accurate view of you even if you're still wandering around in the dark.
SO WHAT’S NEXT?
1. This shifts the “Ground Truth” from "the thing I sell" to the "technology” I use to accomplish what I said I'd do for you.
Robbie Fraleigh’s insight on that one. I loved his perspective shift that the Ground Truth is a tool rather than an outcome and I've had it all flipped. It also liberates me to recognize how I use the story and question process from the Ground Truth EVERYWHERE and I don't always have to point it out.
2. I'm leaning into my identity as a Word Person.
This allows consulting to take a different role in the array of how I show up. I've done a lot of really interesting things over my career so far. So those things are going to show up more in the conversation.
I'll also be talking more explicitly about creative identity and loneliness all over the place. More things that spread beyond the tight bounds of biz definition.
And the dream? More public speaking and workshops. More hosting panels (I LOVE facilitating conversations!). More creative gatherings around ideas. More being in conversation around the creative things happening in my city and around the world. People don't think to invite the “comms consultant” to the table the way they do a writer, artist, thinker, speaker. And I want IN!
3. I'm revising where and how I share my work.
This newsletter will remain its unruly self. I feel free to write my newsletter the way I want (as a writer) instead of trying to strategize (badly) for the business. I'll be talking more explicitly about creative identity and loneliness all over the place.
danamray.com is now a portfolio of all the projects I'm proud of, from creative writing to event design to wedding officiating. It's a wild collection. These things don't fit in my “business brand” but fit so perfectly in my Ground Truth.
nameyourwork.com is where my consulting exists (this is the website as you've seen it and known it since 2018).
Art n' Shit is an inconsistent column/letter where I let my opinionated self run rampant around anything I'm interacting with at the moment.
The weekly missive Words are Action will remain as it has been: unboxable leadership, the power of language and naming, and the way our creative lives shift and evolve in that process.